If you are feeling sick and tired of having your emotional energy depleted by an energy vampire, narcissist or emotional abuser please read on...
When I first fell in love with Sean (not his real name) it was like a dream come true. He was everything I had ever wanted in a man. He was financially secure, had good credit, was kind, caring, a good listener, talented and willing to help me to get what I wanted in life. Compared to the men in my past he was a real find. In fact I considered myself lucky that he was even interested in me. After all a man with such wonderful qualities should have a lot of women interested in him right?
"It was like a dream come true. He was everything I had ever wanted in a man."
I was on top of the world with Sean. I gave thanks daily that God had finally brought me a soulmate, someone I had waited so long to find. After two failed marriages I felt I had been blessed.
However after a couple years I began to notice a lot of changes, mostly in myself. I was slowly losing my confidence. I was depressed often, my energy was low and I was battling debilitating physical issues. When I would try and talk to Sean about what was going on with me he seemed disinterested and would often leave me alone in my darkness disappearing into his perfect world, one I could never really enter with him.
It seemed nothing ever got to Sean, and yet everything got to me. He was calm, cool and collected and I was an emotional wreck. Next to him I felt so inadequate and lost.
"He was calm, cool and collected and I was an emotional wreck."
After three years in the relationship I finally decided to take some time away to see if I could figure out what was going on with me. After only a few days on my own something amazing happened. All my physical symptoms began to clear up and my mood elevated. I started to feel like my old self again. I finally began to see the connection between my relationship and how I was feeling. So after I returned home I moved out in order to focus on my own well-being.
I had hoped that once I moved out Sean would see how important I was to him and be willing to make some changes. I had hoped he would be more emotionally available, nurturing and caring, which were qualities that seemed completely lacking after the first few months of our relationship. He always played the devils advocate (irony) and didn't seem to have any compassion for what I was going through.
"my reputation in the community went from being respected and loved to being seen as someone who had serious emotional issues."
I was completely unprepared for what would happen once I moved out. Sean simply moved on... He found a woman to replace me almost immediately and suddenly my reputation in the community went from being respected and loved to being seen as someone who had serious emotional issues. I tried to confide in a good friend and confidant but she had taken Sean under her wing and couldn't understand why I was having a problem with Sean moving on since I was the one who broke up with him. It felt obvious to me that she sided with him. Especially when she suggested I explore some of my issues with family members that might be contributing to my emotional instability.
It seemed all my friends were abandoning me, especially Sean who no longer had anything to do with me. I felt so lost and alone and couldn't understand what had happened. It felt like I was going crazy.
My condition only worsened as I couldn't eat or sleep and spend all my time crying trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
Finally on the advise of the one friend I had left I went to see her therapist. After a complete psychological evaluation she told me she believed Sean was a narcissist.
"After a complete psychological evaluation she told me she believed Sean was a narcissist."
According to my therapist the problem wasn't with me at all! It was with what I had endured and the pain I had been supressing all these years. I was finally seeing what I didn't want to see. I wanted to believe in the dream, that Sean was my soulmate, the perfect man for me. But the dream had become a nightmare when I learned the truth. He really didn't care about me the way I had believed he did. He didn't have the abiity to truly love me, have empathy or compassion for my experience.
Although the picture was perfect from the outside, there was a very bleak emotional landscape on the inside. It was Sean's inability to access his own emotional reality that was at the root of the problem. In our relationship he was projecting all his repressed emotions onto me and I was the one suffering.
"he was projecting all his repressed emotions onto me and I was the one suffering."
It seemed he got off scott free while I had to pay the price in the most intense emotional pain I had ever experienced. Not only was I grieving the loss of a man I loved so much, but I was going through complete emotional abandonment and betrayal. Instead of caring that our relationship was falling apart he simply closed the door on me and opened it for someone else.
I was replaced like someone might replace the batteries in a flashlight. My battery was burned out and I could no longer supply him with energy, so he found someone who could, discarding me into the waste basket. And this is how I felt! Completely discarded!
For my own sanity I began studying everything I could get my hands on about narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, pathological narcissism, malignant narcissism, emotional abuse, psychic vampires, energy vampires and more.
It wasn't until after my second relationship with a narcissist that I finally got it! After leaving this relationship I knew what to do and I avoided the years of pain and grief that left me emotionally disabled.
I learned what I needed to do to get my soul back, to get my energy back and stop him from taking anything more from me!
"I learned what I needed to do to get my soul back, to get my energy back and stop him from taking anything more from me!"
Although I intially sought therapy to help me I realized the problem could not be solved on a psychological level. Because the problem was really not psychological on my part. It was spiritual. I was dealing with energy!
Narcissistic Personality Disorder might very well be a character disorder with psychological roots, but the way it affects its victims is on a deep spiritual level. You don't have to be religious to understand this. Just like the flashlight battery produces energy until it runs out, so do we. And if we have been spending our lifeforce energy keeping the narcisssist charged what happens when we run out?
Well this is what I would love to share with you. I want to let you know that there is a solution! There is a way out!
In my E-book "Spiritual Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse" I will tell you the secrets I have learned to get myself back and you can do this to. Right now! Today! Tonight! Because this book is available right now for immediate download.
The download for this E-book will be provided in a PDF format immediately upon approval of your purchase!